Blog

a fresh start

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I just chucked three years worth of blog archives.  It was a tough decision, but I'm feeling pretty good about it. I made a hard copy of everything, so it's not lost forever.  I just needed a fresh start...a clean slate...a new beginning.

I've struggled, the past three years, to find my voice...not only online, but in the real world as well.  I was feeling pressure to pick a direction, but I was also paralyzed by the fear of picking the wrong one.  Stuck at the dreaded crossroads.

Out of pure frustration, I stopped forcing myself to make a move, and did the only other thing I hadn't tried yet. I sat down in the middle of my indecision, and did nothing, except ask myself one question...why?  I didn't need to know what.  I needed to know why.   After a while though, I didn't even need to know why.

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I sat with myself long enough to realize that the what and the why were the same thing.  It's everything that I have right in front of me...everything within arms length.

While I sat doing nothing, I played with my kids, I tended my garden, I took better care of myself, and I laughed a lot.  I found everything in my time spent doing nothing

I think the dreaded crossroads are just some kind of mental double vision; a trick illusion meant to drive us crazy. 

Once I decided to chill (and by chill I mean, stop stressing about what I was going to do with my life, and just start living my life), I noticed there was only one path stretched out in front of me...mine...this one.  Yee haw.

Welcome to my new online home!  I hope you'll feel comfortable here.